Hear You Me
by rand0m1
Summary: One shot. A short little fic set at some point in the future. Angst as always.


Disclaimer: Not mine.

AN: Ok, I was writing 'Heart of the Team' but thought this might be a better outlet for my angsty side tonight. Just a one shot set sometime in the future. Enjoy :o)

Hear You Me

The woman stood from her seat in the church. Slowly her legs carried her forwards, coming closer to the casket resting there. The walk felt like it took forever. Each step she took weighed heavy on her as she knew the words she had to speak. She ascended the two steps to come to stand behind the lectern and faced the assembled people. Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out a piece of paper and flattened it out on the wooden surface. She read over the first few words in her head before she began to speak.

"I remember the first time we met. Everything in my life had just changed. I was alone in a new place and then she came along. When everyone else was distant, there she was…My one friendly face. She gave me some where to go to get the answers to the questions I had but more than that, she gave me a sense of feeling welcome. She was the one that gave me a safe place in the storm. I never said thank you for that. I thought I'd always have another chance, another day to let her know just how much that meant to me. I was wrong."

She took a deep breath as she fought back the tears threatening to spill. "I always wondered if she knew how much she did for me. How much she meant to me. I always wondered what she thought of the person I became as a result of her being in my life. She was the one that gave me the strength that I was lacking when the cases got hard or hit too close to home. It was that simple touch or that perfect phrase that would give me the strength I needed to keep going and not just break down. She never let me doubt myself or my future. I am proud of all that I have achieved now but it is because of her that I got here. She never knew how her words and actions kept me going. She never knew that without her, I'd never be where I am today. I never said thank you for that."

The lump in her throat had risen once more, making it hard to get the words out she needed to. Taking a moment to read the words written on the paper in front of her, she tried to compose herself. After a moment, she was able to continue, her voice betraying her emotion. "If there was ever someone who earned their place in heaven, it was her. I'm sure the angels were there to lead her in. I hope that as I stand here today, she is listening and can hear the words I never had the chance to say before it was too late."

The tears had finally won and were silently streaming down her cheeks as she spoke. The paper was no longer needed, she turned her eyes to the coffin beside her. "Ever since it happened, I have sat awake at night trying to find a reason why. Trying to find an explanation for such a tragedy. I could only come up with one reason. The only reason that I could find for you to be taken from us is that you were needed elsewhere. That someone with a heart as big as yours was never meant to live among the horrors we see for long."

"I wish I'd said thank you sooner and told you what you meant to me before it was too late. I just hope you hear me now. May the angels lead you in and when my time comes, I hope you are there to show me the way."

She stepped down from the lectern and walked over to the coffin, placing her hand on the surface. "You were always my angel." She whispered into the quiet church before returning to her seat. The rest of the service passed in a blur. Her eyes focused on the coffin and her mind on the memories of times past and a future that would be no more.

* * *

The woman approached the marble tombstone in the quiet graveyard. The wind blew gently through the trees, the whispering of the leaves and branches the only sound. She placed the lily on top of the headstone before kneeling down beside the grave. Her eyes traced over the words engraved upon the white marble surface. The last sentiments that attempted to sum up a life such as hers.

"Hey. It's been five years since you…" The word still wouldn't come out. Even after a year, it was no easier to say. "It's been so hard without you here. It seems every time I turn around, there is something else reminding me of you, of what we had and what will never be. I always thought we had our whole lives ahead of us. I just never realised yours was going to be so short." She sighed. "I always thought it would be some case gone wrong that would end in this result. An unsub who got lucky one time. In a job like ours and it's a car accident that takes you from me. One moment in time where everything was changed. Something that nobody could have predicted or avoided. It still doesn't seem fair."

The woman turned slightly to see a silhouette approaching her from down the hill. Turning her attention back to the gravestone she continued to talk. "He's grown up to be a young man you'd be proud of. He is everything you were. He was why I kept going for these years without you. I never thanked you for the family we had together. There are so many things I wished I'd told you but I never had the chance. I don't know if you ever knew what you meant to me."

She felt a hand on her shoulder. "She knew." Turning to face the young man, she was met by shining blue eyes. "She told me once that you might not be great at expressing yourself with words but your eyes told her everything she ever needed to know. That if I ever needed to know what you were thinking or feeling, I just had to look into your eyes and I'd know." He paused for a moment as he met her gaze. "She was right."

He turned his attention to the gravestone. "Hey mom. I graduated today, top of my class too. I got a full scholarship to study criminology. Mom already tried to talk me out of it but I got my stubborn streak from her so it didn't work." He smiled at the woman beside him. "I hope you'll be proud of me following in your footsteps." He gave the woman's shoulder a gentle squeeze before heading back down the path, leaving her alone once more.

"I hope you are there to hear me now. I wanted to say thank you. Thank you for welcoming me into the team all those years ago. Thank you for being my strength when my own was failing. Thank you for seeing in me what I didn't. Thank you for loving me and giving me eleven years of everything I wanted. Thank you for giving me a family."

The woman stood from her kneeling position and placed her hand against the cool marble once more. The wind blew through the trees as she stood, her eyes trailing over the lines engraved into the marble. Words that the blonde had written in the letter Emily had received after her death. _Close your eyes…The warmth of the sun will be my arms around you. The rain falling will be my tears for your sadness. The wind will be my voice whispering to you…telling you I love you._

"I miss you JJ."


End file.
